Corrupt A Wish

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted, but you can't turn visible again. Ever.

I wish to know the taste of an extinct animal.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted. Time for a dream vacation to Jurassic Park! But just to warn you - there it's eat or be eaten and i don't think you'll fare well against a T-Rex.

I wish for three more wishes.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted, you have three more posts before you're locked out of the thread.

I wish I could be James Bond.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted, but your movies are never as well received as Daniel Craig's.

I wish i was a baby again.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted, but you have no memories of your life, so must start all over again.

I wish I could revive people.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted, but only the careers of C-list celebrities.

I wish to know everything there is to know.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted, but your head explodes.

I wish I was Batman.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted, but you get throat cancer.

I wish to be part of a human centipede.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted, but you grow limbs to become a centipede. Fuck that movie.

I wish I could sing.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted. You have the voice of Justin Beiber, but not his looks.

I wish i was a killer snowman from the future.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted, but you melt.

I wish Bieber was gone.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted, but i thought you said beaver so they're all gone.

I wish everybody on Honey Boo Boo would just explode.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted. Nobody misses them. Straightforward.

I wish Adam West Batman would do the Dark Knight Trilogy.

[Gladys Lovegood & Kirk Douglas]

Granted, but he got STDs.

I wish to be best friends with a bear.

[Shotaro Hidari]

Granted. You live in a tree, though, to be near.

I wish I had a good life insurance policy.