Corrupt A Wish

[Beet J. Stag]

Granted, but you are born in a vat of salt.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of delicious boneless chicken.

[Jean Havoc]

Granted, but you gain 600 pounds and die.

I wish i super fit-tastic.

[Daniel Blake]

Granted, You use the KFC daily work out sessions.

I wish for something to kill Justin Bieber

[Oliver Hall]

Granted, but he comes back as MechaBeiber.

I wish we knew if Phantom Pain was MGS.

[Jean Havoc]

Granted, but i have no idea what that is.

I wish the cake wasn't a lie.

[Thomas & Derek Cross]

Granted, This is a triumph.

I wish I was GLADOS

[Naoi O'Branagan]

(disregarding Jii's wish)
Granted. It's an untruth instead.

I wish for the skills to build a bomb, so I can kill the members of One Direction. And Bieber. And Lady Gaga. And Nicki Minaj....

[Oliver Hall]

Granted, but since something has to go wrong, it takes you with it.

I wish we would know if Christian Bale was back as Batman or not, instead of all this back and forth.

[Naoi O'Branagan]

Granted. He's not.

I wish I had a motorcycle that could fly.

[Oliver Hall]

Granted but it runs on jet fuel, so it's expensive to fill.

I wish Left 4 Dead 2 had better aiming.

[Naoi O'Branagan]

Granted, but now there are only Tanks. Nothing else. And "Go Go Power Rangers" never plays.

I wish I had the ability to block out sounds, like annoying music, for example.

[Oliver Hall]

Granted. But you're deaf.

I wish these online classes were less stupid.

[Naoi O'Branagan]

Granted, but now physical classes are even more stupid than the online ones formerly were.

I wish I had Krypto the Super Dog as a pet.

[Oliver Hall]

Granted; he rips your throat out in your sleep.

I wish I had Neal Caffrey hair.

[Naoi O'Branagan]

Granted, but you have none of the rest of his fashion sense.

I wish I was fashionable.